A Few Good Nurses (and Interns)

Without question, the most famous quote from A Few Good Men came from the dialogue between Jack Nicholson and Tom Cruise in the court room. Well, here’s a similar conversation, but this time, in an ER: Nursing Humor - A Few Good Men

ER nurse: You want answers?

Intern: I think I’m entitled to them.

ER nurse: You want answers?

Intern: I want the truth!

ER nurse: You want the truth?! You can’t handle the truth! Son, we work in an overcrowded ER that has patients in the halls. And those halls have to be cleared to make room for more sick people. Who’s gonna do it? You? You, Mr. Brand New Intern? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for weekly hour requirements and you curse the Policy. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that the speed with which patients are admitted, while inconvenient for you, probably saves lives.

And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives…You don’t want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don’t talk about in the resident’s lounge, you want me in this ER. You need me in this ER.

We use words like rapid response, code, DNR/DNI, triage… we use these words as the backbone to a night spent defending something. You use ’em as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to an intern who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very security I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it! I’d rather you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a syringe and draw that stat blood yourself. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you’re entitled to!

Intern: Did you cancel the code blue?

ER nurse: (quietly) I did the job the patient needed me to do.

Intern: Did you cancel the code blue?

ER nurse: You’re damn right I did!!


50% Complete

Chart Farts

Get hilarious medical chart bloopers in your inbox. Every two weeks or so, you'll get a big belly laugh :) Sign up below and verify your email. After that, we are not responsible for any incontinence.