Funny Twitter Tips – 21 Things You Should Never Tweet About Your Health

There are lots of things that leave you thinking, “TMI” when reading some tweets from the world of Twitter. And that’s fine… you wanna post something on Twitter, fine. Just do us all a favor and spare us these 21 Things You Should Never Tweet About Your Health:

  • Your favorite urine sample flavor
  • Ways you conned your doctor out of paying your copay
  • Requests for more narcotics
  • Your sputum quality index
  • Your latest spot on the Bristol Stool Chart
  • Mechanical home remedies for hemorrhoids (with or without step-by-step instructions)
  • All of the reasons you enjoy kidney stone pain
  • Stories of your favorite colonoscopy experience
  • All of the things that fascinate you about boils and carbuncles
  • A list of your favorite hospital odors and the source of their nostalgia
  • The prevailing theories on why you get recurrent rectal abscesses
  • Links to Flikr photos of the lesions you discovered in your armpit
  • Your first thoughts upon tasting that drainage from your tooth abscess
  • Your six favorite ways to conserve your use of underwear
  • The Flikr photo of that abdominal CT scan where they discovered your role in that smuggling cartel
  • A running list of all of the goodies you found in hospital dumpsters
  • Links to those prostatectomy videos that you posted on YouTube
  • How stupid you felt when you applied that suppository without first removing the foil packaging
  • That you think your wife’s cooking should go into a biohazard bag
  • The real etiology of your “spider bite”
  • The 7 nifty uses you found for keeping your pinky fingernail so long

Do you want a nicer PDF version of this list? Right click and choose “Save As”:

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