Medical Malapropisms (Chart Farts) by Email

Laugh Your Gluteus Off?
Doctors and Nurses Write the Darnest Things

Chart Farts® are Medical Bloopers from Actual Hospital Charts

We all need a break from the stresses of work in the health care industry or the difficulties in facing serious illness as a patient or family member. Here’s a free service that provides unique Chart Farts® directly to your email – once every two weeks. Sign up for You’ve Got Chart Farts®! today. They’ll all be left wondering why you are smiling. Tell ’em that it’s not gas. Tell ’em that (: medicine is fun again :) ™.

Here’s a small sample:

  • “We will watch her diarrhea closely”… (Whatever floats your boat, Doc.)
  • “He denies any rectal breeding”… (How in the world did they ask about that?)
  • On discharge instructions: “Drink plenty of urine”… (More proof that hospital food should be avoided at all costs.)
  • Indication for flex sig – “blood when whipping himself”… (If you bleed when you do that, then don’t do that.)
  • Order “Please feed patient only when awake.”… (I’m glad that that’s clarified.)

We have thousands…
Get about 6-to-10 Chart Farts® in one email every two weeks:

  • “The patient will remain hospitalized until the day of discharge”… (A lifetime of schooling to get a knack for the obvious.)
  • “He had surgery for an unbiblical hernia”… (Prophesied in the scrolls of old.)
  • “Seashore disorder”… (That would be “seizure”. I’m sure you learned about seizures in nursing school.)
  • and much more…

Sign up now! When you sign up for “You’ve Got Chart Farts®” – you will instantly receive a confirmation email. Follow the instructions in that email.

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Chart Farts

Get hilarious medical chart bloopers in your inbox. Every two weeks or so, you'll get a big belly laugh :) Sign up below and verify your email. After that, we are not responsible for any incontinence.