More Medical Chart Funnies and Bloopers – Chart Farts®
It’s time for your mid-month dose of hospital chart bloopers (with my under-the-breath side-comments in italics)… Here’s another group of funny medical malapropisms for you. All of these are from real hospital charts. Not ideal, but true… Chart Farts® (: real stuff. real charts :)
- Analpril 1.25mg Q8hrs (Is that for hyper-sphincter-tension?)
- Nasal packaging
- Nasal fungal cream
- He lives with his finance (So… are you thinking about your patient or the stock market?)
- Retrocele (Now in paisley!)
- Secular aneurysm (Will need intervention from the Surgical Right)
- She is on 93 Liters of oxygen (All of the latest hospital facilities come with wind tunnels)
- Wingworms (Sounds like something from the Princess Bride)
- Bypolor
- He has recently been on both aspirin, Plavix, prednisone, and Coumadin
- “Pain med: “”given”” Where/route: “”in room”” (Well… Thank you Nurse Sherlock)
- Breeding ulcer (No comment… uh… ok, one comment… We should discuss strategies on lower k values.)
- ROS: Unobtainable secondary to patient’s mental status change and I am unable to follow commands. (I bet)
- Chief complaint: Clogged tube (You’re gonna have to be a little more specific)
- Chief complaint: uncontrollable bowel movement (Like that damn pink little bunny with the drums)
- Uncontrolled left labrial cellulitis
- Buttock, lower back, and neck pain from assa (I’m not quite sure what assa is, but it should probably be taken off of the market)
- Chief complaint: Debility
- Pericardial tachycardia
- Reason for ER visit: Dates and anatomy (Dude, now that’s high risk behavior if I ever heard it)
- History of psychoptosis (Doesn’t it sorta suck when your brain explodes?)
- History of bump bleedin
- chronic obesity (As opposed to the much more shocking acute form)
- Will sue high dose furosemide to force diuresis
- Hide-a-scan
- Bi geminis (Not that there’s anything wrong with that… at least if your EF is okay)
- History of grouch in my feet (Grouch, gouch, the gout… it’s all the same)
- Mr. H is an 823-year old Caucasian male patient who was actually transferred here from another hospital.
- Bariatric enema (Every nurse’s nightmare)
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