Here’s an account of the events that led up to the reporting of Kris Kringle’s medical record:

‘Twas the call before Christmas – by GiggleMed.com

‘Twas the call before Christmas, when all through the floors
Not a patient was restless, not even Old Claus
The nurses were standing at the station, just chatting
each avoiding the word “quiet”, (…you know what could happen)

Med students were dismissed home early for the night
with pages of Cecil’s or Sabiston’s to get just right
And my resident in her long coat, and I in my scrubs
had just resigned our bodies to cold, cafe grub.

When from our pagers, there beeped such a note,
We flew from the lounge heading straight for the code
not the elevators (too slow), I hit the steps
time for some aerobics, then A-C-L-S.

The door to the unit slammed ‘gainst the wall
deepening a dent where it had hit before
When, what to my wondering eyes should manifest
But a pint-sized doc compressing a chest

With a shrill, firm voice, so demanding and loud
She called out...

As with most journalism, for the moment, we’re all gonna have to say “Screw HIPAA”… GiggleMed.com has come across some disturbing medical records from one of the world’s most well-known personalities:

Let’s take a look to see some of the highlights (er, lowlights) from this man’s medical profile.

Obesity: January 3rd, 2001, Kris Kringle (his alias, I suppose) went to see his PCP, Dr. Klump, and is told he needs to lose at least fifty pounds to be within a safe weight range.

Diabetes: December 20th, 2004, Dr. Klump runs some tests and determines that Kris has very high blood sugar levels. The doctor urges him to be good this holiday season, and not indulge on snacks loaded with carbohydrates. On December 26th, 2004, Kris was admitted to the hospital after a night of cookie eating, complaining of dizziness.

Sleep Apnea: Mrs. Kringle calls Dr. Klump on March 15th, 2005 and asks what can be done about her husband’s snoring, as it worsens in his ‘off-season’. She noticed that during t...