It’s time for your mid-month dose of hospital chart bloopers (with my snide comments in italics and parentheses)… Here’s another set of funny medical malapropisms for you. Chart Farts® (: real stuff. real charts :)

• I had a bisectomy ’cause of all them damn kids (it’s a shame it wasn’t done a generation earlier)
• Condition on Transfer: Much better than on presentation
• Assessment: Palpitations – please see monitor (What’s next? Systolic murmur – go ahead and listen with a stethoscope)
• I had a cartridge taken out of my knee (I hear you get a rebate for recycling those at Staples)
• He is blind in his right prosthesis (Dude, everyone is blind in their prosthesis)
• Echo with tumor vs trombus (one of those Jamaican clots)
• Social history: He used to abuse drugs remotely (boy… the technology today…)
• ROS: Neurological – no ambition
• Based on lab data, he has a stable perianal itch. (Number 1 – Is an ‘itch’ ever stable? Number 2 – What lab data?!)
• Old Timer’s
• Oldheimer’s
• Discharge Dia
...

It’s time for another flatus hiatus…

You’ve come to know Chart Fart Art™ – Here’s another medical malapropism from the Chart Farts® collection that we’ve made into a comic… This one happens to be one of the most oft-repeated chart farts® by patients and their families (just after “gouch”, “chicken pops”, and “cadillacs”). “Fireballs in the uterus” is not only said very often, but it also occasionally appears on ER triage sheets… Some have mentioned the “Fireballs in the Eucharist” quote, but I haven’t heard this one first hand… yet.

As I reflect on “fireballs”, I think… man… that’s gotta hurt. Especially in the uterus. So, to make myself think of more pleasant thoughts, I’m toying with the idea for a new medical musical group… how about “Flaming Placentas”?

… No. Too soon.

Anyway, if you want to let us know how you feel about GiggleMed.com and ChartFarts.com, here’s a way to tell us: Tell Us How You Feel and Get A Free Gift…

The response to our Chart Farts ® collection has not abated… (and we love it, keep it comin’).

This time we take a look at an ultra-important diagnosis from a metrics, CMS reimbursement, and readmission rate perspective… and that is congestive heart failure. You would think that with so much attention put to documenting what we do with CHF patients, that there would be very few Chart Farts® associated with it. Actually, it couldn’t be further from the truth.

Here’s the latest…

The response to our Chart Farts ® collection continues to be overwhelming… Tons of funny submissions, words of appreciation, and even a question or two from a rare disbeliever.

All of our Chart Farts® are original and all are actual malapropisms found in charts, uttered by healthcare professionals, or said by patients. Chart Fart Art ™ is simply one of these funny malapropisms put to comics. We have chosen some of our favorite chart bloopers from our Chart Farts ® collection and made corresponding healthcare funnies.

Here’s the latest…

… watching diarrhea is probably better than watching paint dry… well… if you’re into that sort of thing.

(not that there’s anything wrong with that)

OK. Because we’ve received such an overwhelming response to our Chart Farts ® collection, we’ve decided to put some of the actual malapropisms in pictures – Chart Fart Art ™. We have chosen some of our favorite chart bloopers from our Chart Farts ® collection and made corresponding comics.

In all cases of Chart Fart Art ™, the quotes come from real medical charts or from patients. The picture or cartoon was made to accompany that quote.

Here’s the first of hundreds…