It’s time for a mid-month dose of hospital chart bloopers… Here’s another set of medical malapropisms for you snicker about. Chart Farts® (: real stuff. real charts :)

• I cannot say this with one thousand percent supremacy
• She has not had any suicidal ideation, yet has prayed that Gold may just take her.
• Check abd XRay Fat & Upright
• For low sodium, he will be kept on fluid restriction. He is also on IV hydration. Therefore, he will be kept on fluid restriction and diuretics
• Eurosepsis
• She goes for an annual left breast lumpectomy
• Chief complaint: Overpornation
• Chief complaint: Dating anatomy
• COPD exasperation
• Prostatic mitral valve
• Review of Systems is notable for partial hospitalization
• Tridil stopped because of chest pain
• Order: please DC pt home after dinner paperwork is in chart
• Protein-pump inhibitors
• Diabetes type II treated with metformin and hypercholesterolemia
• Multivitamins coronary artery disease
• Non-sustained cardiac awareness
• Reakness
• In response to a q
...

As you know from all of the other references on this site and at ChartFarts.com, a chart fart is a medical blooper written or said or entered into a computer by doctors, nurses, techs, patients, etc.

Well, when I was first called about this medical chart blooper, I laughed out loud (real LOL, not just texting it or tweeting it). The attending covering this patient noticed that an intern had written “EKG after each BM” in the admission orders.

I asked him for a copy of it and before receiving the copy, I posted it on Twitter. And as usual, I made a snide comment after it in parentheses. I said “If you really want to tick off the nurses, order that with some kayaxelate”.

Well, here’s the original order…

It’s time for a mid-month dose of hospital chart bloopers… Here’s another set of funny medical malapropisms for you. Can you control your urine? Chart Farts® (: real stuff. real charts :)

• Psychiatric Admission Diagnosis: Screamer
• He demonstrated a 9 kilogram weight loss with corresponding diuresis
• Patient sees his urologist for prosthetic enlargement
• a trail of morphine
• Admission Diagnosis: Diagnosis needed
• LE tenderness was solicitable by palpation
• Hx of lung fibroids
• Pain under left breath
• Estimated RV pressure 335mmHg
• Angina with prior myocardial infarction s/p myocardial infarction
• Medicine consult: I will be happy to follow the patient with you on my service.
• Nutrition note: Pt eating 0-100% of renal diet.
• intermittent heart beat
• History of high cholesterol 6 months for which he takes once a day cholesterol.
• He is followed by a GERD doctor.
• This is a 54 YO white African American
• Nephrology recommended dietary restriction of urine protein and creatinine. 

Ge...

Medical malapropisms are bloopers of medical jargon. We call them Chart Farts ® – a term GiggleMed coined to capture the way a malapropism can punctuate a serious moment in healthcare. When doctors or nurses are taking a history, when reading through the medical record, and even when professionals are discussing their work. We all make mistakes, but sometimes (even in normally serious times) these medical errors can be quite funny. We have recorded thousands of them. All real stuff, all real charts.

Here’s an introduction to Chart Farts ® we posted on YouTube…

The response to our Chart Farts ® collection continues to be overwhelming… Tons of funny submissions, words of appreciation, and even a question or two from a rare disbeliever.

All of our Chart Farts® are original and all are actual malapropisms found in charts, uttered by healthcare professionals, or said by patients. Chart Fart Art ™ is simply one of these funny malapropisms put to comics. We have chosen some of our favorite chart bloopers from our Chart Farts ® collection and made corresponding healthcare funnies.

Here’s the latest…

… watching diarrhea is probably better than watching paint dry… well… if you’re into that sort of thing.

(not that there’s anything wrong with that)

OK. Because we’ve received such an overwhelming response to our Chart Farts ® collection, we’ve decided to put some of the actual malapropisms in pictures – Chart Fart Art ™. We have chosen some of our favorite chart bloopers from our Chart Farts ® collection and made corresponding comics.

In all cases of Chart Fart Art ™, the quotes come from real medical charts or from patients. The picture or cartoon was made to accompany that quote.

Here’s the first of hundreds…

Get medical humor, nursing jokes, funny doctor stories, and health care bloopers by following @GiggleMed on Twitter. You can "follow" these funny micro-blog posts whenever and how ever you want. Here are some sample posts:

Follow GiggleMed and Get Chart Farts® on Twitter:

It’s that time of month again… Let me rephrase that… Here’s another set of funny charting errors for you laugh about. Chart Farts® (: real stuff. real charts :)

• Indication for a CT: hypothesis
• Hispanic disorder has been stable here in the hospital.
• Admission weight = 832 lbs, Today’s weight = 81 Kg
• S/P condroversion
• Anti-stranded double DNA
• XRay report: Findings were compatible with the patient’s nurse
• Admission weight: 109 Kg Today’s weight: 11 Kg
• I know all about that alcohol, my father and my brother had the DDTs
• ER Chief Complaint: sterilization
• Mental status improved after discontinuing the sitter
• Chief complaint: Can’t hold water
• Prior arrest for sectional misconduct
• Fly-like symptoms
• Patient unable to sing
• I’m afraid to die of beeties.
• History of stool in his blood
• ROS: See patient for full details
• Would prefer Rocephin instead of cannolones
• Mediastentitis
• Integrilin drip for the next 3 months
• horniated disk
• trichomorass
• She is actually hacking the secre
...

We're midway through another month... so here are some more funny charting errors for you giggle about. Chart Farts® (: real stuff. real charts :)

• This patient would be a good candidate to be killed in PT
• Allergies: Cinglair
• Code was called for patient being found acystic
• Patient gets dilutional on Paxil
• He was told to have a heart attack in 1984. Subsequently he was treated with some pills for about a month or two by his family doctor.
• RN note: Large BM noted, Stage 2 stool noted left cheek
• blindness and depression in the left eye
• Order: Patient may go off floor to linen sale with sitter
• Allergies: statins - severe leg crap
• V tabulation
• Admission diagnosis: hyperglycemia, peeing over 5 minutes
• Please remove Foley at 6am. Notify urology if patient has not voided in 6 months.
• heroic vomiting
• parentinitis
• Chief complaint: kidney attack
• I immediately assisted the patient while lying supine on the floor
• high caliber stool
• He has 2 brothers who are hospital healthy
• surg
...

We all need a break from the stresses of work in the health care industry or the difficulties in facing serious illness as a patient or family member. Here’s a free service that provides unique Chart Farts® directly to your email – once every two weeks. Sign up for You’ve Got Chart Farts®! today. They’ll all be left wondering why you are smiling. Tell ’em that it’s not gas. Tell ’em that (: medicine is fun again :) ™.

Here’s a small sample:

• “We will watch her diarrhea closely”… (Whatever floats your boat, Doc.)

• “He denies any rectal breeding”… (How in the world did they ask about that?)

• On discharge instructions: “Drink plenty of urine”… (More proof that hospital food should be avoided at all costs.)

• Indication for flex sig – “blood when whipping himself”… (If you bleed when you do that, then don’t do that.)

• Order “Please feed
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